I don’t know why but like i feel like crying right now. Its just.. idk. I’m thinking about stuff and then this feeling of sadness takes over me. Last spring i found out that we were going to be moving in a year because my parents can’t afford to pay for the house anymore so its going for foreclosure. Half a year later it seems like everyone of my siblings still living at home has a plan of what they want to do when the time comes we lose our house. My brother has been planning to move out for a long while now. One sister plans to move in with her boyfriend in virginia after she graduates. Another plans to get an apartment with her boyfriend. And the oldest sister i think she was planning to move in with one our brothers.
This is a rant!
Over and over again i have told myself to not let my family bug me about the kind of music that i listen to. But you know i just can’t help it sometimes. The other day we went to a japanese restaurant to celebrate one of my brother’s birthday and the restaurant plays a lot of j-pop and sometime k-pop. While we were eating one of my sisters said to me and i’m sure she didn’t mean to offend me but she said “hey look its your music.”
Problems solved! Kind of.. And halloween
I went to talk to my starbucks manager. Its not really solved but i went up to her and i was just like “Can i talk to you?” and i asked her “Am i still working back here?” and she proceeded to tell me that the last time i worked i didn’t remember anything and when i work back at starbucks again she wants to take me for a whole week. But she has to talk to my manager who writes my schedule and my department manager too. And she was really busy supposedly that week so she told me that yes i was still working back there and when i work back there again she want to start all over. And that it would most likely be next week but the following week (which was supposed to be this week) that i would work back there.
Some good news and rants
Okay so i know i don’t update this thing anymore but it REALLY comes in handy for times like these when i can’t tell anyone about my problems like right now. First the good news is when i visited my high school for club activities and Ms. P my old counselor said to me that she wants me to become a leader of the group. And like they’re gonna pay me for it. Its not gonna be much though. I don’t really know how to explain it cause i don’t know much either. But all i know is i will be a leader of the club and not just some alumni coming back to see her friends and taking pictures etc.
Is there something wrong with my body??
I’m like constantly hungry lately. Maybe i’m just overworking myself a little bit but its so weird. Like i never get full. Today when i woke up i ate. Then i went to the gym and came back and ate. And then i was like i’m still not full so i grabbed seconds and i was like i can’t eat anymore but i’m not full. So i ended up throwing it away and maybe 2 hrs after that my mom made some food and then i was eating it and i finished one bowl and sat there was like “i’m still hungry…” so i went and got seconds and then i wasn’t full but i just got tired of eating. i’m scared…
Life from now on #2
I know i already have a post with this title but i don’t know what else to title this post.
Updates since my last post:
Well i don’t think much has happened since my last post. Last weekend we threw a birthday party for my niece Serentity. Her birthday was on August 8th but then she said that she didn’t have cake with her aunties so she wanted to have cake with us. So we went ahead and planned a Sunday since thats the only day my brother (her dad) doesn’t work. We made some sushi, cake, stuffed some piñatas. I took pictures but they’re all on my phone and i think i deleted them after i uploaded them to facebook.
Japanese festival :)
Yesterday i went to this Japanese Lantern Festival at Como Zoo. Honestly i didn’t think we were going to go. Because i went with my friend Erin and her parents don’t let her drive into the cities. Until she called me on friday and was like “Yeah we can go to the japanese festival! My parents can drop us off!” and my first reaction was “I have no money! :O!” I had to ask my mom for money..
Onto the festival subject. When we were driving there Erin took the wrong exit too early and we got lost and took us about 15-20 minutes to turn around and get back to where we were before we took the wrong exit. When we were getting close to the Zoo [it was Erin, her boyfriend Ben and i who went] Ben and i went “Now you wanna start to find parking” and it was PACKED! Like you can see peoples cars from a block or two away cause it was so busy. And right in front of the entrance we saw a car go out and we go “OMG PARK THERE!” hahah we were very lucky.
Walking in this is the first thing you see. And then there is Tea Source.
Erin loves tea so this was our first stop.
Life from now on.
Well.. i officially dropped out of school today. here is how it happened. It starts way back to over a year ago i was accepted into Minneapolis Business College and was doing financial aid and my dad calls and hes all lecturing my mom saying i shouldn’t go to college there. Its too expensive. Quote – Unquote. So pretty much i was forced to go to Dunwoody for electronics. Well there is something that happened in between. My moms nose started bleeding when we were doing financial aid and it was kinda a bad omen so the convinced me to go to Dunwoody along with Bao and Regina. Anyways what lead to my drop out was that we’re supposed to maintain a 2.0 GPA and we go by trimesters and first quarter i got a below that so they put me on academic probation. Second quarter i failed a class and that really effected my grade too and again under 2.0 so i was put on academic suspension. So if i were to get a lower than 2.0 GPA again or fail or withdraw from a class i would get withdrawn from school. So at that pont i don’t know if i wanted to continue school anymore. Cause i didn’t like it in the first place and whenever i go to school i’m always in the mindset “i can’t wait for this to be over” and i was always so stressed out. And i didn’t make my decision until last sunday when my mom was driving me to work and i was asking her what if fail school what am i gonna do? And i was telling her that i want to do what i want and go to school for what i wan. And she was saying i can’t fail school cause of the money i already out into it. And what if i go to school for what i want and work for what i want and i don’t make money than what? I said i don’t care as long as i like what i’m doing and i don’t want to go to work everyday and be like “arghhh i hate work” Then the money thing was brought up again and then it was right then i decided i want to drop out of school.
Today was my last day i gues you can call it i didn’t attened any of my classes today i was on my laptop all day surfing the net before i had to turn it back int the school. Also Regina kinda lectured me today saying that she thinks me going back to stillwater every week for SPAA is unhealthy cause i haven’t moved on from my high school life it seems like. I mean i guess she is right in a way but whatever. I go there to see my friends and so what if its my escape i don’t feel uncomftorable when i go back and i don’t know why i should because its just my friends. But anyways. I feel very free stress wise right now. I haven’t felt this way ever since i graduated. Too much bad memories at Dunwoody but now that is all behind me. Dunwody is art of my past now and i want to look towards the future. This past year or so ever since i attended Dunwoody in July i felt like i lost a part of myself so i want to focus and finding who i am again. I want to just concentrate on working nd trying to get my permit and liscence. And i want to take my ACT that i never took. I don’t want to worry about mom or dad anymore and school and electronics. I want to focus on me and my life from now on. I guess i’m proud of myself XD.
